I lost my parents as early as I can't imagine, it's one of the reason I never get a chance to attend school, at a very young age I learn to feed myself and work to live. I work as a cleaner in a private school 10 minutes away from where I stay, I started working here when I was 13 and now I'm 16, it's very clear to me that I'll stay here for more years, the reason.. I don't know. I'm starting working every 6 am in the morning, unknowingly I learned to write without me attending school, mainly because I used to observe before some of the student's lecture way back before, I think I'm pretty good, huh?, I will first take hot water on the dispenser with a blue and red button on it, bring it in the Quarter to make a coffee and drink it before starting my work, since I don't have enough money at all, it's been my everyday breakfast since then, sometimes some of the teacher giving me bread whenever they see me. Our Quarter is in what they called Emerald Building, we are exactly at first floor, there's one room that I always wanted to see, because the one working inside was the reason maybe (but not the main reason) why I'm working here. Her name was Leila Lawrence, she's working as an Assistant Human Resources, She has this straight hair with a little curly at the end, Her circular eyes with brown almond color makes me feel alive, her lips that always red because of her lipstick and very light make up which makes her more simply beautiful. She's older than me, she's 20 and I know what's the difference between us, I wasn't expecting anything will happen between us because it's way too impossible, not even in my dream, she barely knows me because I clean most of the rooms here with my co-cleaner Mark Conor, He's the only friend I had and he knows everything about me and vise versa.
"Pablo!!" As the loud but calm voice comes to my ear, very familiar voice that makes me hesitate to turn around while I'm cleaning the window glass of the first room on the first floor, I knew it was her so to my surprise I found her infront of me dazing like she wants me to do a favor, very innocent eyes without forcing to do it, it's just natural to her.
"I just want to ask if you can help me?" She asked as if we used to talk.
I clear my throat before responding. "Yeah sure, what is it?"
"I just want you to tape the box I have in the office cause I'm gonna use it to keep some unimportant files inside, can you?"
Without any idea at all, I just nodded and follow her as she turn around away from me to the office.
She immediately point out the box together with the tape, I take them and do it without second thought at once, I rest on the floor while doing it, and observing what she's really doing through my peripheral vision. I'm very concious about her and I don't feel light doing something beside her.
"You are Pablo right?" While she's sitting on her table infront of the stuffs she's going to put inside the box.
"It's just my nickname, but my real name is Paplito Nevias"
She stop doing her stuff and look at me wondering "ahh, nice name but i heard that you haven't seen your parents and you live by yourself" sounding like she's gotten interested in my life.
I hesitate to answer to her foregoing question or otherwise it will result to rejection, but before I open my mouth she suddenly interfere.
"I'm sorry if I asked too much from you, I know we're not that close, I just got into my curiousity and you know this was the first time I have talk to you."
"No that's fine, don't feel bad" I answered back with reassurance
I finished the box so I've decided to leave immediately with her saying her gratitude.
And it's already past 6 pm thinking did I just spent most of my time helping her?, so I leave the school immediately and walk to the same road I've always been, while I'm on the road there's this thing that give me a lot of thinking, the question she ask, it's not that crucial but it brings me back where I used to be, how did I survive myself without anyone to count on?, I've already forgot everything about my past not because it's not part of me anymore it's just that I never wanted that, and it makes me envy those who are not the same as me, living normal life.
Just got home, I lay on my bed and gaze at the ceiling trying to catch up with my life, seeing my self maybe after three year — having my own family with the woman I love — so that time I won't feel anything less anymore. Suddenly a knock on the door, wondering who's that. My house is definitely small so I can reach the door few steps away, I have this little hole on the door so like expensive doors I can see who's knocking and it is Mark.
"What brings you here mark?" Looking at him with remorse
"What's up?" Asking me as if he knows already what happen.
Mark was my best friend, he's been a lot with me through anything and everything, though we're not the same status in life, he has atleast family, and that's the difference between us. But he always makes me feel he's a family of mine though.
"Nothing, I just had headache, I don't know, you what's up?" Denying the fact that I'm feeling solitude.
"Come on bro, I know something happen, spill it out!" While entering and sat on the bed at once.
"I just talked to Leila Lawrence for the first time you know? She just needed my help but on the process, she asked me questions maybe about my life, that makes me go back to where I used to be before"
"Oh man! Don't ever think that you're alone anymore, I'm here, we are family, even Shaun is our family we are brothers man! And by the way Shaun is inviting us to his home to do some parteeeyy!" With some giggle and excitement on his face.
I'm about to refuse when I suddenly picked up myself that I need to atleast spend time with myself or with friends so I won't bother thinking the saddest part of my life anymore.
We leave at once and walk together going to Shaun's home. Shaun is a friend but not the best I could say, he's just like mark but never knew everything about our life. While walking on the the road, Mark and I talking, laughing and looking at some beautiful girls along the way — I am not naughty as it sounds but sometimes, I'm just a Man — We arrived at Shaun's house and call him infront of their metal gate, they're not rich, but they're not poor.
He immidiately open the door and welcome us with our "bro hug" . The three of us go to the room, we meet his parents and say "hi" to them, his parents is not strict and it's OK for them that we do something like this.
As we enter the room, everything was ready, the drinks and the snacks, he really expecting us because it's been a long time since we've done something like this, and I feel light now to myself.
"What took you so long both of you? Sit down sit down my friend" telling us with excitement.
Mark and I sit down and rest our back to the couch. I take the first drink so we could start early in no time. We laugh as usual with Shaun's corny jokes and funny story based on his never ending experience. We finished the six bottles, so we feel tipsy and dizzy, me and Mark decided to go home and it's already 12 midnight. Shaun takes us to the gate to bid his final goodbye and telling us to go back again soon.
While on the road, we barely talk to each other as if we are supporting each other if ever one of us fall down. We arrived at my room-like house and I told Mark to stay for a while, just for him to lessen the dizziness from the liquor we drink. Mark sits on the bed and me on the floor and starting to realize something.
"You still can't forget what happens earlier right?" While he's gazing from nowhere.
I look at him and told him "Yeah, and I just realized something crucial, that no matter what happen or no matter what I do, I'd still have my past inside of me, it's either I'll learn from it or use it as an excuse for me not to continue living, maybe that's the hardest part of life. Your choice, your mistake.